My wife and daughter shop at different speeds and in a different fashion. I would say my mother-in-law has a different shopping style than mine, too.

I don’t think that my way is right or their way is wrong or vice versa. It’s just different.

They shop at slower speeds. My personality is not built to go that slow while shopping. This is why I like to go grocery shopping. I have a detailed list and I go up and down the aisles in an orderly manner.

When I shop for stuff other than groceries, I like to look on the first trip and buy on the second trip. I like to shop fast and not really linger over items. I find what I want or need and then I zero in on the lowest price.

On the first trip, I check price and availability. On the second trip, I buy. I don’t know that this is more efficient but it works for me.

I know it does cut down on those dreaded impulse buys - you know, the electric socks or weird Monopoly game.

There is a certain board game that I plan to buy for someone this Christmas. I found it at a local shop, at the mall and at Wal-Mart online. Wal-Mart is one dollar cheaper than the local retail shop and the mall was 20 percent higher.

I will buy it from the local shop.

I like to browse online but then buy locally. I still get a little nervous about giving someone my credit card number online.

Each December, I buy a year’s supply of dress socks, athletic socks and underwear from J.C. Penney. They are good products at a good price. This may seem odd, but by buying the same products at the same time each year, it’s just one less thing to worry about.

I wait for a big sale and usually save between 25-50 percent.

When I do my Christmas shopping, I make a list (and check it once). I share this list with my lovely wife and we proceed to mark names off the list as we purchase presents.

We have shared some shopping trips that were great experiences.

When we took a Caribbean cruise, we stopped at one island that had an open market with hundreds of booths. I am a people watcher and I loved walking around talking to the natives while Susan looked at the goods.

When we go to Silver Dollar City in Branson, I enjoy browsing in the various speciality shops. We were in the copper store last year when a squirrel came through the front door and grabbed a nut off the counter. This was apparently an everyday occurrence.

Shopping with my daughter is mostly like shopping with my wife. She is more deliberative than I. She is more picky than Susan and will linger over items for quite some time.

When someone gives me a gift card, it “burns a hole in my pocket.” I want to spend it fast - probably too fast. I guess I am afraid that the store or restaurant that issued the card will suddenly go out of business. It would be terrible to find a card that had expired because you forgot about it.

I will not take my daughter shopping with my sons. If we were all going to the mall, I would assign one of my sons to accompany her (she is 14) and then we would split with the idea of rendezvousing at a predetermined time at a given spot.

That would lessen the stress levels for almost everyone.

My kids like to give lists of things they want for Christmas. This is primarily to help Grandma and Grandpa spend too much, which they gladly do.

I don’t follow the lists too much. I like a little mystery on Christmas morning, so I always try to throw in something that is unexpected.

I try to avoid buying clothes for anyone, especially my wife. My boys don’t like sweaters and you wouldn’t catch me in a mall store buying something for my teenaged daughter.

I am an early riser but I have given up on going to stores at 6 a.m. on Black Friday. It’s just too much hassle. If there were some specific item - like a $200 microwave for $25 - I might go, but still the lines and the traffic are a deterrent.

We probably spend too much on Christmas. It’s just so much fun to open a room full of gifts.

We don’t put gifts on credit cards. We have a cash policy these days. One of our card companies called the other day and asked if anything was wrong, since we hadn’t charged anything for awhile. No, we are just trying to pay cash.

It is better to give than to receive. I try to make sure that everyone tends to get the same amount of gifts on Christmas morning (it never quite works out that way).

The toughest part of Christmas shopping is for stocking stuffers. My wife fills up stockings for three kids and me. I get stuff for her stocking.

It’s not hard to find stuff but it’s hard to stay within the budget. You don’t want to fill a stocking with cheap stuff from the $1 store. It takes a little thought and some clever shopping to make the right statement.

But whatever you buy, you need to be quick about it.

• A priest and pastor from the local parishes were standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that read, “The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it’s too late!”

They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car. As the first driver sped past, he yelled, “Leave us alone…we don’t believe in that religious stuff!”

From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash.

One clergyman said to the other, “Do you think we should just put up a sign that says, ‘Bridge Out’ instead?”

• After a trial had been going on for three days, Finley, the man accused of committing the crimes, stood up and approached the judge’s bench. “Your Honor, I would like to change my plea from ‘innocent’ to ‘guilty’ of the charges.”

The judge angrily banged his fist on the desk.

“If you’re guilty, why didn’t you say so in the first place and save this court a lot of time and inconvenience?” he demanded.

Finley looked up wide-eyed and stated, “Well, when the trial started I thought I was innocent, but that was before I heard all the evidence against me.”

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 3rd, 2009 and is filed under Columns.