What will happen in 2010? No one knows for sure. Here are a few predictions about what I hope will happen and what probably will happen.

Health care

What I hope will happen: I hope Congress will scrap all the bills in the House and Senate and concentrate on lawsuit reform and interstate insurance sales

What will probably happen: Congress will pass a bill, possibly with federal abortion funding and the public option, that will cost Americans trillions in higher costs and diminished care.

Cap and trade (tax and trade)

What I hope will happen: Honest scientists need to come forward and finally lay to rest the myth of man-made global warming and kill this bill. My hope is that we will open drilling for oil and gas in our borders and work toward energy independence.

What will probably happen: Obama will sign the Copenhagen Treaty but it will not be ratified in the Senate. But the assault on taxation of energy companies will accelerate.

Deficit spending

What I hope will happen: I hope the federal, state and local governments will cut spending and decrease the size and cost of government.

What will probably happen: The federal government will run more than a trillion dollar deficit, the state government will empty $600 million from the “rainy day” fund and the City of Tulsa will seek a sales tax increase. Plus, the Tulsa Public Schools will ask for a $354 million tax increase.

Morality

What I hope will happen: America will repeal unconstitutional laws over hate crimes and hate speech. Homosexual “marriage” will be outlawed. Abortion will be made illegal (except to save the life of the mother) and politicians who shame their office (sexual affairs, bribes, substance abuse, etc.) will immediately resign from office.

What will probably happen: More states will pass hate speech laws that infringe on First Amendment right of free speech. More states will legalize homosexual marriage. Abortion will get federal funding and crooked politicians (including some in Oklahoma) will stay in office.

Sports

What I hope will happen: Tulsa football will go undefeated and play in a BCS bowl. Oklahoma and Oklahoma State will enter the Bedlam game undefeated and both will advance to the BCS. OU quarterback Landry Jones will win the Heisman and Blake Griffin will be named rookie of the year in the NBA. Oh, and the Phoenix Suns will win the NBA title and Steve Nash will be named MVP for the third time.

What will probably happen: TU will challenge for the C-USA title. The Bedlam game will feature two teams with a total of three losses. Griffin will be named to the all-rookie team but because he was injured for the start of the season, he will not be rookie of the year. Cleveland will win the NBA title and LeBron James will be MVP.

• A man and his wife are sitting in the living room and he says to her, “Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state dependent on some machine. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.”

“OK,” says his wife as she gets up and unplugs the TV.

• An old man was a witness in a burglary case. The defense lawyer asked Richard, “Did you see my client commit this burglary?”

“Yes,” said Richard , “I saw him plainly take the goods.”

The lawyer asks Richard again, “Richard, this happened at night. Are you sure you saw my client commit this crime?”

“Yes” says Richard, “I saw him do it.”

Then the lawyer asks Richard, “Richard listen, you are 80 years old and your eyesight probably is bad. Just how far can you see at night?”

Richard says, “I can see the moon, how far is that?”

• Actual Accident Summaries

The following are real statements found on insurance claim forms. Drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident succinctly.

Coming home, I drove into wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.

I thought my window was down, but found it was up when I put my head through it.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision, and I did not see the other car.

The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck the front end.

I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in the ditch by some stray cows.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

I told the police that I was not injured, but upon removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the curb when I struck him.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.

• The teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway. After a fruitless search, he told his mother the lens was nowhere to be found.

Undaunted, she went outside and in a few minutes, returned with the lens in her hand. _

“How did you manage to find it, Mom?” the teenager asked.

“We weren’t looking for the same thing,” she replied.

You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for $150.”

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 7th, 2010 and is filed under Columns.